I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
