she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
