I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
