In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
