i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
