Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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