I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
