Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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