Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
