Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
