So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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