So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I smell like Dick and happiness
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
