I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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