Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we're making bets on your personal life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
