Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
