Don't make out with my wife yet
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
