Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
