I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
