how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its liver damage thursday
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
