when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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