I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
