she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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