i would punch a child for taco bell
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
