A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
