She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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