Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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