I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
