We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
