I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
