I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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