Umm I'm too high to move.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
