So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
