i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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