Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
