drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
