6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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