Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
