I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
