we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
