I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
