I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
