I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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