I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
