It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
