Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
