She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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