You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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