Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
