Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
