I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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