I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
