I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
