This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
