Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't make out with my wife yet
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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